Entry Shock?

I have a tendency to NOT believe people when they say something is going to be hard. (Close friends and family: no snickering.) For example: when I was pregnant with my first child I heard how hard labor and delivery where going to be. And I thought, "They are wimps. I've got this." Whoa, was I ever wrong. And you'd think I'd learn that lesson by having Emma, but when I was pregnant with Johnny, I convinced myself that since he was my second that it would be a breeze birthing him. OMG. Kill me now. I thought it was never going to end. (You will be happy to know, I did adjust my expectations while pregnant with my third and fourth babies though.)
And then when we moved away from family and friends people told me it would be a tough adjustment. And I thought that I'd be gaining my freedom. It ended up being one of the hardest things I've ever done and the toughest adjustment I've had to make. The move made be realize how much of an extrovert I am and how much I need people and want people in my life.
And now with this whole adoption thing. Everyone says that waiting is so hard and gut wrenching and I secretly have thought, "Hmm, God is good and His timing is perfect. Just trust in that peeps and all will be well." At least I have never vocalized that. But now, 4 days in from accepting these Ugandan babies....I AM A MESS!!!!!!!!! And saying "God is good and His timing is perfect so trust in Him," to myself....REALLY ISN'T HELPING.
I'm so glad that in each of these phases in my life the people around me and my Father in heaven have been gracious and kind. What a prideful boob I can be! And apparently one that doesn't learn lessons the easy way. Ever. But God keeps whispering, "Be still, honey, I've got this" and He reminds me that He has plans for not only me, but for my U kids and my hubby and my NM kids and my extended family and my friends and.....He's got this. He's got this.
Lord, I need your peace. I am not a naturally anxious person. I can usually face situations with my head on straight. But this morning when I talked with one of my friends, I was completely unhelpful and tearing up at all of her questions. You might be wondering what kind of tough questions she was asking. They were simple questions that needed simple answers like "what time should we get together?" and "where are we meeting?" and "is there going to be food?" These are my kind of questions. She knew I was the person to talk to to make these decisions. If you know me on any level, you know that I am perfectly fine with making decisions and telling other people what to do. Well, not any more. I'm wondering how long this is going to last. Is it entry shock or is this going to be my state until the babies are home?
Lord, bring them home quickly. Not only to bless me, but to save all people within an arms reach of me and my decisions.
Forgive me if you have ever birthed a child and thought it was hard, and I thought you were a wimp.
Forgive me if you knew moving away from home would be hard, and I blew you off and thought you were clingy.
Forgive me if you were honest and told me that the waiting after seeing their little faces was going to be hard, and I preached to you in my mind.
I promise God is whittling away at my sin. And my sin is ugly. Thank you Lord that you are in the business of turning ugly into beautiful...or at least for some of us hard-headed people turning us from ugly to not-so-ugly.