Whoville?

It's funny how the adoption thoughts ebb and flow. Sometimes big chunks of time go by and life just seems normal and full and uneventful. (Probably not your kind of uneventful, but our kind of uneventful. Shooting rattlesnakes, birthing goats, and little boys wearing superhero costumes in public are all in a days work here.) Other times I can't stop thinking about what we are embarking on. And during the times when I can't stop thinking of our adoption, there are different "topics" that I get stuck on. For a while the "topics" were paperwork and appointments. Now that we have finished that part, some of my thoughts have been on fundraising: the hows and whens and wheres of raising money. But there is a slow change happening in my thoughts lately and it is outside of my little box. Even though it may seem unusual to you, I actually like the hows and whens and wheres. That is where I am comfortable. I love check-lists and things to accomplish. I like appointments and packets of information. But, now I am starting to have the "who" thoughts. Who are they going to be? I know a few things about who they will be. They will be Hondurans become New Mexicans. They will be small family turned larger. They will be loved and prayed for. But in the midst of all the get-ur-done kind of stuff, I'm dwelling more on the fact that they are going to be little people with little personalities (or big ones!). They will have likes and dislikes; favorite colors and foods they despise. But there are also lots of things I don't know about the "who" part. I guess that is how it always happens though. Each time we were pregnant with our current children there were things we knew. They were going to arrive on or around a certain date. They were going to be the first born (then second, then third, then fourth born) of the Jonathan Grassmick family. They were and would be loved and prayed for. But we didn't know who they would resemble or if they would be laid back or fast and furious. We didn't know if they would read at the age of 5 or want to play a certain instrument. And I guess now I am going through something similar but different. Similar in the fact that they will be mine and I will learn news things when we meet, but different too. I usually don't think of the end during the journey (that is my husband's job). But this time it's different.
Maybe it's the wait time. When I was pregnant, 40 weeks seemed like such a long time. Now, I can only hope and pray that the wait will be so short, but I have to prepare for double or triple that amount of time. 40 weeks seemed so long then, but it was so specific and I love specific. But I guess the best constant I have is that the God of heaven and earth is running the show. He was then and He is now. And if the God who gave me sweet Emma, and kind Johnny, and smiling Annie, and witty Anderson is in charge, then I've got nothing to worry about.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.       Philippians 4:6

Lord, give us what You've got. And who You've got for us. You have proved Yourself trustworthy. It is scary, but good.... I know You get that.

Socks Knocked Off

Some of my closest friends here in Santa Fe had that fundraising planning meeting last night that I mentioned in my last post. My mind is still spinning...but in a good way. I can't believe these people are willing to give of their most precious talents to serve the Lord in this way.

One gal is always thinking of great ideas. She brought some brilliant things to the table last night. Things I can't wait to see implemented.

One gal and her beau are genius techies. And they are going to create some amazing vehicles for all of this information.

One guy is a chef and he is going to work his magic.

Another gal is an amazing artist and she will wow the masses with her contribution.

Yet another gal is an on the ground make-it-happen kind of girl and she made the meeting happen and has offered to help implement these great things.

And her beau kept us laughing but also add some color to several things mentioned.

They all signed up to help in ways that God has gifted them as well as things outside their boxes. And they are excited to meet our new little ones. I can see it in their eyes and hear it in their voices.
I didn't walk away from the meeting with many responsibilities which feels a little funny. I guess I'm just going to hang on for the ride.

Soon To Be No-Longer Orphans

It still feels unreal when God chooses to use me. When He speaks to me and asks me to act. Really, the God of the Universe wants my help? Sometimes I say yes and sometimes I act like I didn't hear Him.
But what has floored me in this adoption experience is watching God ask others to act on my behalf. And then watching them respond. And they don't even get to enjoy the visible, right-now benefits. Wow.

Today I received a package in the mail. It was from a long time friend who has had something up her sleeve. I had no idea what I was going to find as I cut through the 14 layers of tape on this box. My first glimpse was a black leather suuu-weet coat. Hmm. And under the jacket were neatly rolled Ann Taylor Loft, Old Navy, and Gap clothes. Jackpot. Then on the very bottom was a little note explaining things. And there was a check.

See this package came from a family that is living the American Dream. They own their own business and they have exactly 2.6 children. They own their home in a small country town and have a dog that lives in the backyard. They work hard for what they earn and the economy woes have hit them hard. But God asked them to scoured their home for things they could live without and sell them for their friends who are adopting kids internationally. She could have acted like she didn't hear the call. Or, she could have just played the hand to benefit her family. No one would have thought anything was out of the ordinary if she said she was going to have a garage sale to make more room for the next baby. And earn a little spending money for her kid's Easter outfits. And whose to say that would be wrong? But she didn't do that. Her and her husband have prepared for weeks, canceled once due to weather, and spent a long day selling their stuff...for us. And then, she picked some of her favorite clothes that didn't sell, and sent them to me as a blessing. And wrote us a check for the amount they made at the garage sale. Gosh, that is humbling.

A month ago I went to check the mail and saw a tiny little card from another college friend. I was assuming it was going to be an adorable picture of her sweet little girl (my pretend niece!). It wasn't. It was their contribution to our adoption. They are a one income family too. They spend and save their money wisely. And God asked them to give generously with a cheerful heart. And they did.

On several occasions I have gone to the Just Love Coffee website to make sure everything is working. While there I see another family's name who has ordered coffee that is fabulous, but pricey, to support our family.

Family members have overwhelmed us with their generosity. Not just money, but prayers and encouragement, and offers to keep our NM four when we are in Honduras. Duh, they say. Of coarse we will. I have a brother in law who is going to ship stuff from overseas so we can auction off amazing beautiful things to earn money to bring our children home. A handful of people have offered to go with us. It is surreal to know that God is at work in and around you. Why me? Why us? Why now? One thing I know for sure...it's not because of what I have done, but because of what He is doing.

I have been floored by so many people who want to help and have helped. And I know today's blessing from friends (and from God) won't be the last. Next Monday a group of my New Mexico friends are hosting a planning slash prayer meeting for some upcoming fund raisers. They are crazy women who love God first. It could appear they're doing it to get on my good side, but I know that isn't the case. They are doing it because God has nudged them. And even though it looks like the Grassmicks are the primary beneficiaries of all of these things, it just isn't true. Jesus says in Matthew that "whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me--you did it to me." How then, is God not going to richly bless each of these families for taking care of our soon to be no-longer orphans? Or bless them in ways we can't count or even put our finger on?

Saint Paul prays it best so I'll leave it to him:

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.  

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Knowing

I wish there was a button I could push and all my feelings and thoughts would be written down for me and then I could just edited them. I have a lot of things running through my mind and my heart, but I just don't know how to get them written down. Bless you for bearing with me.
Our dossier was shipped to Honduras today. Over the next two weeks it will be translated and then given to the IHNFA (the government agency that handles all things adoption in Honduras). Then, Johnna told me, our dossier will go through 3 stages of review. Each step of the way there is a chance that we will need to fix something...or I guess it could be rejected too, but that really hasn't crossed my mind. I guess my prayer is that it won't need fixing, but I don't feel strongly about that. God has been so faithful in each bump and step of this process that it is hard to imagine that any of those "set backs" aren't of Him...or outside of His plan. So, maybe one or more of our children aren't born yet. Maybe they aren't in the orphanage yet. Maybe it just isn't time for us to have them yet. I'm trying to look at the waiting not as the suffering kind of waiting but as the it-just-isn't-time-yet waiting.
Don't get me wrong though. It keeps me from falling asleep sometimes. I don't pray that life is a bowl of cherries for my kids, but I do pray that God would protect them from the sick and twisted evil that exists. And I pray and hope for basic human rights kind of stuff. Or I guess the things I think of as basic human rights. I guess the whole world probably doesn't see it the same as I do. Fresh air and water. Sunshine and hugs. Smiles reciprocated. That is what I think every human deserves. I can't wait to start knowing all of my children are beneficiaries of what I see as God's simple gifts. How neat it will be when I can over and over and over again look into their beautiful sad eyes and smile at them. I don't count on having much more to offer but I know my eyes and my smile will bless them...and me.

Some Bumps

Our dossier got to Virginia two Fridays ago. That afternoon Johnna emailed and told us that we were lacking the medical lab reports. Our doctor filled out forms entering the results from our blood work results but I missed it in the instructions that we needed to include the reports themselves. So, I had all weekend to be bummed that we had something else to do, but I wasn't toooo bummed because Johnna still needed to take our dossier to D.C. for Honduran Consulate approval and she said that she could do that without the lab results so we would have a couple of days. So, on Monday I called the doc and made an appointment to go get the paperwork. (Everyone in our doctor's office is getting sick of us walking in the door.) When we got there, the doctor and I discovered that the kids and Jonathan did NOT have the correct lab work done in January. So all five of them went to the lab to have their blood drawn again. The nurse called today saying it is ready to be picked up. So, tomorrow, my eldest child's birthday, we will load up again, drive to Santa Fe, pick up the paperwork, copy it, have it notarized, take it to the Secretary of State, copy the apostilles, and then send it off. Johnna emailed today and said our Dossier should be ready to mail to Honduras on Friday. I will make sure the package gets to her by Thursday.
This past weekend was a busy, but great weekend. I laid down for a nap this afternoon with Anderson to recover a bit and it took me a while to fall asleep. During a recent conversation with Jonathan, he said that his gut feeling on the kids we have in Honduras is 2 boys and a girl. :) So, I was trying to imagine that. And I was wondering if they got to play outside today. I prayed that they would get to. I prayed that God, in His amazing mercy, would keep evil from them. I prayed for those charged with taking care of them for the time being. That they would love them the best they could. I prayed that God would give the Honduran Grassmicks peace. A peace that He is working and that we will soon be there to get them. And that they needn't worry about being separated.
I'm really not ready to start thinking about this emotionally yet. It could be so long. Pray for the New Mexico Grassmicks too.