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My kids and I have been on our annual trek to the east coast for the past couple of weeks. And since we were coming by Dallas and since my mom and step-dad are moving soon we decided to end our trip here. It is our farewell to the house. And no one seems to get it except me and my sweet daughter, Emma. She basically had a 2 hour melt down this afternoon. She wasn't "acting up," she was sad. She started by being a little mopey. Which after a bit turned into a full out wail. Change is hard. Memories are made and us emotional people like to hold them close. My sister, Val, asked Emma what her favorite memories are at the house and what she will remember. I held her while she cried. I'm not sure why I feel so attached to this house. My parents moved here the summer after I graduated high school. So, I've never really lived here for long periods of time. I came back the summer after my freshman year but that was it except for holidays. I married my man the summer after I graduated so I lived here a couple of months before the wedding. And then right before we moved to New Mexico we lived here about 5 months. We sold our house quickly and decided to be roomies with them until we moved. So, it has been the family house since 1996. 16 years. I didn't learn to ride my bike here, or learn about boys living here. I've never had a birthday bash here and I didn't come here after high school football games. And maybe that is it. I didn't become a christian until I went away to college. My life was filled with lots of drama and bad decisions before then. But ever since the day I gave my life to Jesus (April 10, 1997) I have "come home" to this house. And the most beautiful times in my life have roots here. The first time I came home after I became a child of God was to this house. I told my mom what had happened to me. My first Christmas with Jonathan as my boyfriend happened here. He gave me a red Bible cover and some perfume...Eternity. His mom wrapped the presents for him. The day Jonathan asked me to marry him started and ended at this house. The day I married him started at this house. I cried in the shower before anyone else was awake. Not a sad cry, but a gosh,-it's-here! cry. A You-God-are-really-going-to-bless-me-in-this-way cry. We spent the evening before my firstborn came into the world in the living room. I could really keep going but I think I've made my point. And I think Emma thinks and feels like I do. She remembers crazy details about life. Always linked to people. She will remember a store we ran in 4 years ago...if someone was with us. So, her deep attachment to this house is all about the people she knew here. And this was party central so almost everyone she knows has a spot in her memory at this house. So, leaving it is sad.
Another reason it is sad to me right now is because my new kids won't have a clue about this house. No memory will be able to take them back here. Everyone in our current family will be able to think back to this house in some way. But the new kids will just have to smile and nod when we talk about the back patio, which by the way is Emma's favorite part of the house. And mine too.
So, I just have to keep reminding myself of the bigger picture and not get bogged down in only emotion. It is okay to be sad, but gosh, good things are ahead. My mom and step dad are going to live 8 hours closer to us AT A SNOWBOARDING RESORT! A life time of memories are going to be built. And my new kids are going to think back to the new house for lots of firsts. But more important than the house is the family that they are going to get to make those memories with. The house is going to be amazing. But the family is one of those "He will bless you beyond what you can imagine" things. They are going to grow up in a family that loves them and would die for them. We will laugh with them and tickle them and cry with them and wipe their tears away. House or no house, we will have each other. I can't wait.