Bigger Than The Big

Yesterday was a bad day. I was so frazzled about this letter from my doctor that life just felt...I don't know....yuck. And then I was thinking, "If I can't handle the waiting right now...and we aren't even accepted yet, how can I do this for up to two years?????" I prayed a lot. I read my Bible a lot. Jonathan prayed for me. I told the kids to pray for the doctor.
I didn't shut down as a mother completely. We made pinch pot turkeys out of clay and did some oil pastel turkeys and read from The Mayflower Compact and ended the night with a Mickey Mouse puzzle. Plus, we did our "3 days until Thanksgiving Prep" cooking and oh, we made our annual Thanksgiving tree. I'm actually pretty impressed now that I see all that written down. On the inside though, I was a wreck. But the Lord sustained me. I went to bed hopeful of a different kind of day.
When I awoke this morning, it didn't really feel different. But as my father-in-law used to chant cheerfully each morning...Feet on the floor!!! It's a good day!!! I knew I had to just start moving.
Another thing that was eating away at me yesterday was that I forgot to pick up my prescription in town on Sunday when we were there. I HATE WHEN I DO THAT. I thought I was going to have a stay-at-home kind of week and now I had to pack up my kids and spend $15 on gas to go pick up meds that were, in my mind, keeping me from finishing this application process with our agency because I didn't have this letter from my doc. Arrrrggggg. I wanted to be working on my "2 days until Thanksgiving Prep" cooking and painting the pinch pot turkeys from the day before. As I was typing I realized I could go on and on about all the things that happen yesterday to make today really daunting when I was trying to get out of bed, so I will jump to something happier.
I grabbed my phone before I got up and saw an email from a friend whom I have labeled my Adoption Cheerleader (you know who you are). It was a pep-talk for the day and permission to have bad, hard days. It really was just what I needed. I called Jonathan and he offered to go to town for me. So sweet. So, I asked him if he would just let my rambunctious, has-so-much-energy-he-could-burst 6 year old stay with him for the day and I would get the things on his list. And he agreed. By this point, I was smiling a bit more. Then on my way to town, I ended up dropping my oldest at her bff's house to play for the day. Wow. Down to half of the children. I didn't get too excited though because we had a LONG list of places to hit.
But everything changed as we were loading up the car after the first stop. The kids were buckling in and my phone rang. And it was the call I had been waiting for!!
My doc.
And the letter was ready.
Wow.
I told her I would be there in just a little bit and said, "Thank you SO MUCH." The "so much" seemed to give her a little giggle, but I was HAPPY and SO THANKFUL. My eyes filled tears. And it felt like I could breath again. Life was going to be okay. (Of coarse life was going to be okay. I knew that but it sure didn't feel like it.) I pushed all errands back and headed to her office. I called my honey and I called my cheerleader. God had provided. Duh. He always does. And if that wasn't enough, He wowed me with a few more "little" things today.
He is bigger than the big things and He is bigger than the small things. And He doesn't want just to mark things off His list and be done with us. He wants to wow us. Thank You, Lord.
Here's to one more baby step in the right direction, as said by my friend Laura when I picked up my oldest on the way home.